TOM JESSEN - NIGHT
© 2002

Eulogy   [windows media]  [QuickTime]

He’d better prepare himself for the shakedown
You’ll be frisking one of the refugees of Truth
now that his words are caught in his mouth

The stiff arm of the law
washes away like rain all the soot above my furrowed brow

examine the state of these broken tools
I want to know how he got so far down

The days bleed and the clocks turn stubborn
and then they just turn mean
They sent out an APB from the local authorities
searching for my feet too close to the ground

He was last seen on an unpaved road
We’ve checked with the county, state and feds
but they got no idea where it goes

Their dogs are closing in, tracking me from the scent of sin
and fear of doubt I’ve been known so well to expose

Take him out if the shot is clean
He gave us a hell of a run, but now he’s going to where he came

Lying in the weeds dancing with dreams
of a winter night with Christmas lights as I float over this town
And the church bell rang as the sheriff sang
“I found his feet too close to the ground!”

River   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

It was like a scene out of a Peckinpah movie, I was running from those boys
And with each blow in slow motion they kicked me in the head
So I just laid there and waited out their fury with my humility exposed
More just tired from my wounded pride and just how funny life could be
Well St. Stephen let them throw rocks at him ‘til he lay smiling on the ground
His blood stained the sand with a proud command that what just happened was good
Now I don’t know a thing about justice and revenge is for the weak
And coward gets slung from testosterone tongues a bit too quickly

And there ain’t no ice in the freezer to put on my bruises
But now I understand the value of suffering
so you can put me in the ground
It isn’t mine to question why this river flows that way

Hey Job, where’d you go, you got any words for me?
Well my wisdom gets scarce when everything else blows away with the breeze
Now these times keep getting tougher and I’m so tired of it all I could sleep
Do I take another step or just laugh myself to death it’s every consequence to me
Now you wouldn’t leave me like this would you, with so little to show?
I picture a house in the sun down on rural route 1 inside a girl’s waiting for me
Now I threw out all of my money seeking shelter with the meek
But even these dreams are like hanging toys in playpens they’re always out of reach

Exile   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

Well it feels like doing time
Maybe its time to clean this slate
My boss’s veins were poppin’
because on Monday morning I came in three minutes late
And they’re selling booze to drunkards
in fluorescent shopping malls
They’ve traded God for trinkets,
VCRs, talking cars, and autograph basketballs

When’s the end of this exile?
Can I finally go home?
The communion of saints is calling
and they’re singing the best songs
and reciting divine psalms

All the ballrooms have closed down
Everybody’s locked away in rooms
They used to go out dancing
toasting the nighttime with a stiff glass of booze
Now they fall asleep on their couches
watching TV
They use to own their own business
Now they support their own home on a line in a factory

Well I don’t think I belong here
But where the hell can you go
There’s poachers in the mountains
And there’s pimps selling fur on the city street below.

Go Easy On My Eyes   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

I’ve got a heart full of crumpled paper
and thoughts with slipknots that stretch to succeed
Well I’m buried in a crowd of sliding poker faces
and I’m striving for consistency
well I heard the train whistle blow with church bells ringing
and I knew somebody else was putting thoughts in my head
well we hang around this town like cobwebs
dusting off conversations and compliments

Jesus I need you now
settle down like a shower on a small town

it seems I’m asking all of the favors
like could you wrap my heart up before it spills
it’s getting too close down to the wire
if you don’t grab me now my demons will
and he’s got legions in ruby red and combat boots
and they try to pick me off with the small of their backs
there’s cosmetic armies popping up like thistles
they’re sharp with tongues, but soft as grass

Jesus I need you now
settle down like a shower on a small town

heaven is going to have that six a.m. morning sky
and everything is gonna be beginning again
I might even be wearing a sweater
Away from humid bodies and Satan’s smile

So go easy on my eyes I’m not from around here
I can’t bare to jeopardize my chance to return there

Sunday Night Black   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

I can hear the traffic humming out on I-80 tonight
Sounds like people sleeping, breathing
It’s that Sunday night black that incites these anxiety attacks and
asks you “what in the hell are you doing?”
I conjure fertile dreams of the way it’s suppose to be
and it seems that at one time it used to be
weightless days
And I figure out that it could never again be that way
when I spend my time waiting for it to return

Barefoot pajama kids dance around lightening bugs in grass-stained feet
invoking all the angels in the night
with their giggles and fantasies
Renewing my classified ad
I’m going to take whatever I can get
This trailer is pretty old, but it’s cheap rent if you can bear the elements
I make some late night calls to no avail at all
Disguise my voice in composure to an answering machine
Like laying down on a couch telling your dreams
Operator assistance breaching my silence
If you like to make a call please hang up and try again

I could really use some place to go tonight
It feels like my chest has collapsed into this gaping hole
And the universe is flying through it like a jet

All Those Treasure Daggers   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

I’ve got a straightjacket on the tip of my tongue
And if only my actions could speak volumes
like the strength of Roman columns that hold my hopes high
a desperate offering piercing clouds in the sky
Well I try to pick up my spirits but the gravity of this predicament is in the grave
When you get comfortable in your discomfort
are you surprise when you have little left to say?

Cut me open and see all that passion that’s been stabbing me
from the inside out
And all those treasure daggers are falling out

Well these allusive inspirations just won’t let me quit
even when I’ve lost the will to find it
Looking for a taste of spring and a determinant stride
But it gets soiled by a lust in the fact that everything dies
Well I’m lazy to lace up these shoes
because I’ll trip over everything else that isn’t really there
They all cheer me on above the clouds
but my orientation is like a drunken summer’s fair

They’re holding democratic discussions in my head
and when I fight the reins they only bruise
So I follow the jealous muse who’s helpless without consent
my heart feels like a car gonna blow after a fatal accident
Well I wish that I could wear these burdens like an overcoat in a world soaked to the skin
All my love to the ones who know, and a smile for the rest of my friends

Let Me Let   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

May the Holy Spirit lift me on its shoulders
so I can marvel at this parade of life
to be animated like some city street corner
to blush with a resounding surprise
I’m an archaeologist with tools and a throbbing heart
and the times I’m blessed with focus I spend uncovering my way
They’ve set their bear trap schools of thought to tear me apart
knowing I’ll brandish resistance with a worn blade

Let me let these tears flow
for they do not reflect pain
Let me let this mouth with teeth show
even when you insist all is dark with rain

I caught a glimpse of an opening in the clouds
and it called me by name
It was nothing like how you told me it would be
It was free from all of your shallow constraints
These mirrors are showing me signs of erosion
that seem to settle in the trough around my waist
These pretty young girls on the streets ignite and then explode on, they explode on
my fortitude like grenades

She’d flash the word love like a badge standing sincere and tall
It gave her license to tell me what was best for me
In the end I don’t think she knew what love was at all
letting me go when I wasn’t who she wanted me to be

Let me let myself love you
for these steps I take I don’t take everyday
If I let myself be left open to you
please don’t turn away

Something As Subtle As Time   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

I got no more fight
Except to keep an ounce of clarity
Pretty sure I had it once
But even the memory of it now escapes me
It wasn’t suppose to be this way
Beaten down so far inside
Hard to lift a chin to the day
Hard to find the same thing a surprise

Years slip by right before my eyes
Now it’s got me paralyzed
like a deer standing cold in head lights
I seem to recall this other guy with my face
Sitting safe in the sunshine
When everything was under blue skies
Beauty was swirling around in his mind
Not to be damaged but something as subtle as time

I wasn’t suppose to be this way
I used to see it shine like a jewel
When did it all turn gray?
With my hope fading out of view

Black Sheep   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

Well he switched to a taller glass of something harder
and started asking for phone numbers and trouble
And he always stands a little too close when he talks to you
Throwing words in the air he thought he could juggle

Oh black sheep, the flock left him behind
Somewhere down the road he lost sight of what he was trying to find

He’s a kick in the pants and a prayer away from anything I’d understand
A misguided inventor, a general and a thief all rolled into one
And I flip flop between anger and pity
And I only stop after its calloused with apathy

Oh black sheep…

Well I can hear it in every confident word
The frustration in trying to assure himself what he says is true
Sputtering like a car
Trying to soak up the last few drops of fuel
Shivering like a child
With faith built on crutches and a sigh
Backsliding on the defensive
That you can’t burn no bridges when they haven’t been built yet
Burn no bridges when they haven’t been built yet

And he said, “when will it all just finally end.
And when will it finally sweep me up in a ray of sunlight
And carry me like a bird!”
I tried to grab the keys, but he moaned he was fine
And then he tripped out into the street and gave himself up to the night

Oh black sheep you gonna try and run and hide
Somewhere down the road he lost sight of what he was trying to find
Well he once was found, but now he’s lost.

Let the Night Be Long   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

The clock has it in for me tonight
A contest of wills
A silence like a 45
Ringing, smoking, chastising and broken
The night like a flannel livewire
Forgive me for not having my footsteps
Favor your bedroom floor
It’s my knack of always knowing
The importance on the whereabouts of the door
God knows what else I’ve pondered
That keeps me awake
Besides the search for a destiny I myself didn’t create

You gotta let the night be long before you wake up and find it gone

Paint my eyelids shut
with your lack of anything to add
to the endless conversations in my carousel head
This night like a flannel livewire
For I live only to love
that which is not by my side
Oh sweety if I could only find you
better the chances for things to go right
My presumption is in the package
And my tastes are larger than life
So turn my eyes from the ground
turn my heart upside down
and maybe I could get some sleep tonight

Let It Go   [windows media]   [QuickTime]

Can you hear this big ol’ world squeaking on its axis
like bicycle spokes left out in the rain?
Do you have rusty resolutions you been trying to put in motion and practice?
And all effort to crawl out of bed seem to be in vain…
Oh babe, let it go
Is it all broken by the wayside?
Do you see it stuck high up in a tree?
You’ll break your back hoisting that baggage
drop it babe and walk away
Let it go
Do they lay it on you like a blanket of stones
with the strictest intentions to bust all your bones?
Hey babe, let it go
When you find yourself on a plane
with your treasure maps and your suitcase
Why do you run from place to place?
Trying to find it and explain it all away
Let it go